I Hate That I Love You
by iNessie
Summary: Jez and Morgead don't have the best relationship, so they get away from Las Vegas and go back home for a bit. But even in San Francisco, Jez can't say those three precious words to Morgead. Based on the song I Hate That I Love You by Rihanna and Ne-Yo.
1. Failed Attempt

**What's up? Haven't published a new story in a while:)**

**I got this idea before I went to bed last night and I just had to type it out :D**

**Thanks to BookVampire for beta-reading. You're SUPER awesome!**

**I do not own Night World. **

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**I Hate That I Love You**

If you looked at us, you'd say Morgead and I had a complicated relationship. Well, I'm not trying to deny it, because we _do._

We're just not used to this whole love thing. I think we're too used to hating each other.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Morgead yelled at me.

Yeah, another one of our fights. It's like a daily routine to us. Wake up, kiss, then piss each other off, and argue.

"Do you hear yourself? Goddess, leave me alone!" I yelled back at him.

He got pissed at me because I flicked him off after training. All this Wild Power business was really exhausting and I didn't need more shit piled on me.

"Jez, what're you so freaking mad at?"

"The world! I'm mad at all this save the world stuff, being locked down for safety, and I'm mad at how you keep smothering me! Leave me ALONE!"

He stopped talking and just looked into my eyes with that _look. _That stupid look he always gives me when we're fighting. The look that says_ everything_. Everything I didn't want to hear. How did he sum it all up into _one _look?

"Don't look at me like that," I said trying to avoid eye contact.

He looked down at the floor and his jet black hair fell in front of his face.

"I smother you because I love you, Jez," he said still looking at the floor.

_I love you,_ those were three words that I could never say as easily as he does. Anytime I try to say it I choke up. He tells me that he understands that I'm not used to this and I needed time, but I know it kills him.

"Not now, Morgead. Please… just don't," I said and walked out the room.

"Jez!" He called after me, but I kept walking.

Okay, I was lying earlier. _I'm_ not used to the whole love thing. Morgead is madly in love with me and oh boy, does it show.

I kept walking until I got up to Rashel's room. Rashel was my best friend in Circle Daybreak. We had an instant connection when we met and I could go to her whenever I needed her.

I knocked on her door and stood back as she opened it.

"Hey Jez," she said smiling.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" I asked.

She raised her eyebrows then nodded. She moved away from the door and I walked in. After she closed the door she laid down on her bed with me.

"Okay, what do you have to talk about?"

I stared at the ceiling as I told her this. For some reason I couldn't look people in the eye when I talked about Morgead and my relationship.

"Rashel, I can't say "I love you" to Morgead."

She turned her head to look at me.

"Why not? You do love him, right?"

"Absolutely. I love him so much, but…."

"You don't know how to express it?"

"Exactly."

See, this is why I love Rashel. She understands things without me saying it.

"Well, how does he express his love?"

"By blurting out I love you and kissing me hard."

She laughed gently and said, "That somewhat reminds me of Quinn when I'm mad at him."

I giggled and thought about Quinn acting like Morgead.

"You've tried saying I love you, right?"

"Yeah, like a thousand times, but every time I choke up. He said he understands that I'm not used to it and stuff. But I know it hurts him."

"Love is a 50:50 relationship, but love doesn't just come overnight. It requires progress and building. For sure Quinn and I don't have the smoothest road. There are a few bumps here and there."

I snorted, "There must be like a million bumps in my road."

"Hey, that's progress for you," Rashel said.

"So what do you think I should do?"

"Get away for a bit. You're a Wild Power, that's defiantly hard and stressful. So you two should leave the mansion for some time and work out your problems."

"Yeah, maybe we do have to get away. We'll go back to San Francisco for a bit."

"That's perfect," Rashel said and sat up. I sat up with her and gave a her a quick hug before getting up.

"Thanks so much Rashel," I said smiling at her.

"No problems. Have fun on your getaway!" She yelled after me as I left her room and walked back to mine.

I pushed open the door and saw Morgead lying on the bed, watching T.V. He turned his head to me and gave me a small smile.

I smiled back at him and lay down next to him.

"Morgead, what do you think about getting away from the mansion for a bit?"

"Hmm, doesn't seem bad. Where would we go?"

"Back to San Francisco."

He smiled to himself and nodded.

"I don't mind going home for a bit."

"Same here," I said and snuggled into his neck and his arm wrapped my waist.

"Listen about earlier… I'm sorry. I'll back off if you want me to."

I turned his head to me and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Morgead, don't. I… I…." I started to stutter. My throat felt like it was closing and it got hot in the room. Why? Why couldn't I say it?

Hurt flashed across his face, but he covered it with a smile.

"Don't worry, Jez. I understand."

"Morgead—"

"Let's start packing." He got up and walked away from me.

There goes another failed attempt.

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**Poor Jez ):**

**IF I WERE HER, I'D BE TELLING MORGEAD I LOVE HIM ALL THE TIME!**

**Anyway, thanks for reading :)**

** Don't forget to review :).**

** -Ness**


	2. Too Much Regret

**Hey guys :) Sorry it took me so long to update. You can thank my Lazy Ass Syndrome :)!**

**Thanks to Eve for beta-reading this. You're so awesome!**

**And this chapter is dedicated to lexiSHAE. -Evil laugh- I hope you remember our deal. I updated this story so now you must update How To Experiment With Love D:! (Wonderful story, I recommend you all read :))**

**Anyway enough of my fat mouth, enjoy the horrible chapter :)**

**I do not own Night World.**

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**I Hate That I Love You**

"You got everything you need?" Morgead asked me as we made our way to the front door.

"Mhm. Did you tell Thierry we're leaving for a bit?"

"I thought you were going to do that…."

I sighed and smacked my face.

"I'll be back," I said and walked up to Thierry's and Hannah's room. I knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer.

"Come in," Thierry said.

I opened the door and walked in.

"Hey Thierry."

He looked up from his work and gave me a warm smile.

"Hello Jez. Something I can help you with?"

"Well, I just wanted to inform you that Morgead and I were leaving the mansion for a bit."

He dropped his pen.

"Where are going, where you're going to be _unprotected_?"

Here we go.

"Open for people to just take you away and use your powers for the _wrong_ side of the world? Why would you want to go?"

I took a deep breath in and said, "You know Morgead and I are having," I looked away, "relationship problems."

He crossed his fingers and turned to face me.

"I do. Continue."

"I was thinking that if we get away from the mansion for a little bit, we could work out our problems. All this training and missions is really stressful and I think it would be a nice break."

"Where are you going to go?"

"Back home to San Francisco."

Thierry pushed his hand through his neat hair and frowned slightly.

"Would you mind protection?"

"No, I wouldn't, but they must be out of sight."

"That can be arranged."

"Oh, and if I catch one of them, you send them _all _home."

He furrowed his brow and said, "Is that really necessary?"

"Take it or leave it."

"Fine."

"Nice doing business with you," I said and walked back to the front door.

"He approved?" Morgead asked me and took my hand.

"Yeah, but we're going to be under protection."

"Ew."

"Don't worry, they're going to be hidden and if I see one of them he sends them all home."

"Nice," he said and gave me a high five then slung his arm around my waist. I put my arm around his waist and we walked out to the car to go to the airport.

:)~** After the flight to San Francisco** ~(:

"Ahh, it feels so good to smell this air again!" Morgead said while we were walking to Uncle Bracken's house.

I laughed and agreed with him. I never realized how homesick I was.

"We should defiantly visit the gang," I said. **(Thanks Night Worlder 13 for the idea!)**

"Yeah we should! I don't even remember the last time we saw them," he said and tried to remember.

"We'll put that on our list of things to do," I said and climbed up the stairs to Uncle Bracken's house. I rang the doorbell and heard shifting in the house.

"Coming!" I heard Uncle Bracken say.

When he opened the door and I looked into his silvery blue eyes that were exactly like mine and I felt so at home.

"UNCLE BRACKEN!" I yelled and gave him a huge bear hug.

"Whoa! Hey there Jez!"

"I've missed you so much!"

"The feelings mutual, it's so quiet in the house without you," he said and let me go. He looked at Morgead and smirked. "There he is!"

Morgead grinned at him and actually gave him a _hug!_

"Good to see you again, Uncle B," Morgead said and patted his back.

Uncle Bracken laughed gently and moved closer to Morgead's ear and said, "I hope you're taking care of her."

"Yup, although she does not like to be taken care of."

"Well, you must have being doing a good job if you realized that," Uncle Bracken said and smiled.

"Uh, you know I'm right here?" I yelled.

They both looked at me and said, "And?"

I sighed and walked inside.

"Boys," I said and laughed when they yelled "Hey!"

**:)~** **We'll be back in a moment.~(:**

"Okay, you two will be sharing Jez's old bedroom," Uncle Bracken said and opened up my old bedroom door. When I saw the blood red walls, the fluffy black and white comforters, and all the old clothes on the floor, I was hit with the biggest wave of nostalgia.

"It feels like it's been years since I was last in here," I said while touching the dusty wooden shelves.

"It _has_ been a long time since you've come home though, Jez." Uncle Bracken said with a frown, but I cut him off with a gasp.

I picked up my old North Beach jacket off the floor and my eyes started to burn. "This was the jacket I was wearing for the last time we were hunting." I said and _did_ tear up when I saw the hole in the sleeve where a bullet had passed through it.

"Jez," Morgead said gently and took the jacket from my shaking hands, "that was the past. You're not like that now."

"That doesn't matter. I was a monster, Morgead. I killed so much people," I said. I didn't think that coming into my room would make me remember those days where I killed constantly and didn't care about it.

"You guys," Uncle Bracken said, "There's an extra room that we never used, if you want to sleep there."

I sniffed and nodded and followed Uncle Bracken out.

I couldn't go in my room without feeling regret.

**:)~ One moment please. ~(:**

"I hope this is better," Uncle Bracken said and opened the door to a desolated room. There was only a twin sized bed and two windows.

"Since when did we have this room?" I asked, putting my bags down and Morgead mirrored my actions.

"Do you remember that room that was always locked up because it was full of splinted wood?"

"Oh yeah! Why did you lock it?"

"When you were little, you used to just love to disobey me and go in that room and you ended up getting countless splinters." I grimaced as I slowly remembered that. "So after you left I fixed it up."

"Interesting. I don't mind staying here, do you Morgead?" I asked looking at Morgead.

"Nope, I'm good," he said.

"Alright then, you guys get unpacked and we'll catch up later," Uncle Bracken said and left us in the room.

Morgead grabbed my hand and said, "Let's get started."

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**Hoped you liked that :) **

**Review, because I love you! **

**Cya :) MERRY CHRISTMAS :D!**

**-Nessa**


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